I adore my friends.

They care about me, support me in (almost) everything that I do. As we went through high school together, I saw myself in the world from a different perspective because I was the fat friend of the group. I was approximately more than 100 lbs overweight compared to my friends. Despite all of us being black, it made me feel like I didn’t belong. So if you were the token fat friend in your group, you can probably relate to all of these.

You got picked last for everything

Word of advice: don’t take it personally. Well, at least that’s what I tell myself when I was the last asked to participate in physical activities. What I always found funny was people would see my weight before my height as that would’ve benefitted the team. I saw myself the way the rest of the world saw me. But I got so fed up with hating myself that I just worked my ass off to become team captain and be picky about who would be good enough for my squad.

Shopping with them is a BITCH

Unfortunately, when you’re outnumbered and the only fat chick in the group, you’re basically the pariah of the bunch. It’s not your fault you’ve developed a hatred for shopping, it’s the industry itself. Sadly, though, you don’t make your friends aware of your shopping needs and they drag you throughout the mall draped in nothing but straight-size clothes that’ll never fit you unless you conform. Nuh uh hunny.

You immediately count yourself out when guys approach yawl

I can’t even deny this. But I was once in Times Square hanging out with my friends when a guy approached all of us and I almost instantaneously backed away. Being that I was tall and plus-size, I felt a responsibility to kind of just fade into the back because in my heart of hearts, I knew I wasn’t anyone’s type. To my surprise, he wanted my number and I was, simply put, buggin.

It’s awkward dancing in the club

Okay look, I know clubbing is pretty much an endangered species or maybe it’s already extinct, but I feel as though dancing for anyone is embarrassing. Personally, I feel even more awkward about my dancing when I’m in front of people (especially if I hope to take one of them home) because of my size. Moreso, though, because I think I’m a great dancer, but I could end up being an expectations v. reality meme. Regardless of size, you need to let it rip and move that thick body. If it feels right, go for it!

Being the fat friend makes you terrified of getting on amusement park rides

Before you start scratching your heads wondering ‘what the hell are you on, Ari?’ I’mma let you know. If your plus-size, curvy or #thickthighssavelives, you know getting on the rides can be the most embarrassing moment. Think about it! The conductor is letting everyone on the ride and securing the seat belt only for him to tell you it won’t close. Now, my thighs are thick, but let’s be real, most of these rides aren’t designed for anyone over a size 8. So, most people (who don’t look like they shop plus) are turned away from the fun.

I can’t say that it’s easy being the fat friend of the group. Especially when you haven’t fully gotten a grasp confidence. What I will say, though, is that it gets better once you realize you’re unique body is what may just set you apart from everyone else. And why fit in when you were born to stand out, right?