Dresses Are Evil If Your Ass is Big

Dresses Are Evil If Your Ass is Big
2Sam Edelman

Normally, I don’t do dresses.

A dress is the one item of clothing that makes me feel less than comfortable in my body. All day long, you’ll pull and fidget with wedgies and length. Plus size dresses in particular make me look ridiculous because of my ass-to-waist ratio. No, that’s not me bragging, and on my low days, I can’t’ resist envying every size 5 and below, having the ability to sport a baby doll dress with a hem that’s hardly in “appropriate” range to his or her knee. However, my fashion addiction hasn’t yielded me from wearing them. 

Dresses, especially the short ones, are problematic when you’re just out with the squad to have a good time. But when you’re a thick girl with thighs to match, you find the backs of them sticking to leather seats, chairs and you may always be in fear for your ass could hang out for creeps to peep.

Sometimes, I wish all dresses came with preinstalled shorts so that my chub rub nightmares would cease to exist and I could avoid looking stupid getting up from a sticky seat. However, I realize now that in fast FATshion, you can’t always get what you want.

To resolve those high-hanging plus size dresses in the back, I’ll rock a High-Low

I know what you’re thinking, “that’s soooo 2009”, but high-low dresses are actually my cure to giving that big ol booty the coverage it needs so that I can sit and stand effortlessly. Also, they’ve modernized since their tie dye days. Now, I know this sounds weird, but I only go for high-low dresses—never, and I mean never high-low skirts. Maybe that’s prejudice, but I just don’t see the point unless of course you’re going for something more boho chic.

Don’t get me wrong, I know high-low dresses are old but I’ve seen some pretty sexy high-low dresses and surprisingly, I was able to shove my fat ass into this one from Urban Outfitters (in a large, of course):

No longer available on site

Despite this one being from the 2014 era, it’s styled for kicking as. And while it’s now sold out, here’s a few more from Forever 21 that will have you singing a different tune about high-low dresses altogether:

Plus Size Cami High-Low Dress
Plus Size Polka Dot High-Low Dress

See, not all high/low dresses have died and gone to the fashion graveyard, so I highly encourage you to grab one to continue showing some leg while protecting those sticky back thighs.

You May Also Like


  • Yours truly January 16, 2020 6:36 pm

    You are amazing!

  • 3m 8210 n95 mask April 5, 2020 8:59 am

    Great article. Couldn’t be write far better!

    Best regards,
    Dinesen Griffin

Comments are closed.